Reveal (Love & Beyond #2) Read online

  Chapter Eleven

  “Danni, it’s time, we have to go.” Andi shouts, I ignore her, I’m standing in my bedroom looking at a framed picture of me and Carl at the lake house, when we were kids, we’re around eight in this picture. I’m getting the flash backs of that day.

  We’re running around in the front, near the lake, playing tag and Carl’s shouting,

  “You can’t catch me, nir nir.” I’m chasing after him saying.”

  “You want to bet? I’ll catch you.” We are running around in circles for about five minutes and then I trip over and cut my knee. Carl comes running towards me, to check to see if I’m ok. He is worried, but also trying his best not to laugh, as I’m crying.

  “What are you like, you baby girl.” He laughs to himself, and carries on saying. “Baby girl, do you get it? You’re crying like a baby and you’re a girl, It’s also a pretty cool nick name and you’re my baby. I’m so going to start calling you that.” I knew he was trying to cheer me up and it worked, I smiled at his kindness. “Wait there, baby girl.” He runs towards the bush near the lake and picks something up. He comes running back and handed me a huge doc leaf.”Here you go, this is magic, so my mum says. Rub it on your cut and the pain will go away.” He sits next to me and rubs it on my knee; I don’t stop looking at him for his kindness.

  “Thank you, Carl! You’re the best friend anyone could have wished for.”

  “Anytime, baby girl.” That’s how he came to call me baby girl, and now I’ll never hear him say it again. The tears stream down my face, and drops on the picture, a hand places on my hand.

  “Come here.” Adam says, wrapping his arms around me. “We have to go, we can’t be late for his funeral, Carl would never forgive us.” The sound of his name sends shooting pains straight through my heart, knowing once I go to his funeral, it is real and I have to say goodbye for good. I’ve not spoke to anyone since it has happened. Well apart from the police on that night, it happened. When we got back home I barricaded myself to this room, I did not want to see or speak to anyone. My brother stayed here with me because he did not want me to be alone, but that is all I want to do is be alone. No one is safe around me.

  Adam lets go of his grip and walks me to the car to head to the funeral, I guess this is it, burying my dearest oldest friend. What’s my life come too.

  Once we are in the car, heading to our destination. I look straight out the window, it’s like everything is on fast forward and there flying before my eyes and I’m in a trance, into another flashback. We’re older this time. We are in breadsticks; we would meet up here after school, whenever we got the chance. I’m sat in the corner, near the open window, it was our usual place and he comes rushing in strutting, saying hello to everyone as he walks by and when he gets to me, he pecks me on the cheek and sits down.

  “You’re in a great mood today.” I say,

  “Damn right, baby girl! I’ve just aced my exam. So I called home to tell my parents and they said because I’ve passed they’re going to get me a car, I’m sixteen so it’s legal.”

  “That’s amazing, well done! We so need to celebrate. We should order the triple chocolate, sharing sundae! It’s well deserved.” We chuckle and he replies,

  “Are you kidding, baby girl? You know I’m on this new health kick, my six pack is starting to show, that won’t help.”

  “Dude, Stop been a wining girl and let’s get it, unless you want me to go get you some panties and a bra and a wig. If you’re going to act like a girl you may as well look like one.” I tease and he grabs one of the bread sticks that are in the middle of our table, and throws it at me.

  “I’ll show you am all dude, if you want? Privately of course.” My jaw widens with shock, the dirty pervert.

  “Oh my god, Carl, that’s terrible! Don’t make me call Adam.”

  “Why do you have to go there, baby girl, that dude is crazy, him and his mates, I’ll stay away from. So don’t go there.” I giggled once again.

  “I’m only playing, you’d be the last person on earth, I’d set my brother and his mates on. You’re my best friend and I love you, so you get away with it. Besides, I’d kick your ass myself, I can take you.”

  “You wish, baby girl! You know you’d melt at my feet, by just touching me, you wouldn’t stand a chance and I love you too, let’s get this dessert.” He winked at me and called the waitress over. That was such a funny day, later on that night we had a party and its where he seen Darla again for the first time in years.

  The car stops, that means we are here. The pit of my stomach has sunken deep into oblivion, as I know this it.

  I walk linked to my brother and keeping my head down; I really don’t want to see the look on people’s faces.

  We walk far into the graveyard until we find his burial site. There is an open grave, with a brown casket hovering over it waiting to be laid down, to rest.

  Everyone gathers around, Darla is on the opposite side of me with her parents and Carl’s parents. Their faces have drawn white and the flow of their tears seems to be echoing around his grave. I carry on glancing at everyone. Carl would be made up he’s had an amazing turn out. I put my head back down and try to contain my own tears. I find it hard to breathe and as the minister starts to speak, my grip on Adam arm starts getting tighter and tighter, my legs started to shake and my lip starts to tremble. This is it my final goodbye to my lifetime friend, a brother. I close my eyes and try and zone out and I fall into another flash back.

  We’re sixteen, Darla, Carl and I, are on our way to a theme park as we booked tickets to play paint ball.

  “This is going to be sweet, girls! You do know how much this hurts right? When a paint ball hits you, it’s painful. Now I can hack it because I’m a dude, you girls on the other hand, are delicate and would probably scream just for breaking a nail. Are you sure you two are up for this?” Darla and I look at each other in disdain with his remark.

  “Listen here, num nuts! Darla and I can kick your ass and put up with more pain than you could ever put up with as we are girls after all, and you cry with just a little slap on that very shiny, waxed head of yours, shall we demonstrate?” Darla laughs and says.

  “I like that idea, it could show him who really is boss here.” We walk closer towards him and he puts his hands out in front of him.

  “Wow, hold on ladies, let’s talk about this. I was only playing after all. You guy’s win! Leave the head alone, it’s a work of art. Right we’re here, let’s kick some ass.”

  “Saved by the bell! Aren’t you a lucky one?” I wink at him and we walk through the doors. Once we are inside and all suited up and it’s decided that we’re the red team. We hurdle up and Carl takes charge automatically.

  “Right, let’s do this! We should split up, but not too far, so then we can corner them, are we ready ladies? Hands in, and after three you know what to say, one, two, three.”

  “All for one and one for all” We all say in unison and we set of.

  That was a great day and we won too. Carl was over the moon. We can’t say that anymore because we’re not the three musketeers anymore, there’s only two now. The sorrow fills my entire body, I feel week and cannot hold my weight much longer, it’s like am falling deep in a pit as it’s the end of the world. The minster has finished talking and the coffin is been lowered. I struggle to watch as I see him going down.

  One by one, people are grabbing a hand full of soil and placing it on his coffin and then it comes to me. I can’t move and I feel another arm wrap around my waste, I look to see Jared, I don’t want him near me, so I brush it off and walk towards the soil and grab a hand full and I look at his head stone. It says,

  Carl Thomas Freed,

  Born 1987- Died 2015

  Beloved son and husband

  Amazing friend

  Three musketeers always and forever

  (All for one and one for all)

  I fall to the floor and my tears flood out, I didn’t want to breakdown but I can’t
hold it together. Our whole life has been together, every secret, our ups, and downs, our family dramas, bad relationships. We have always been there for each other and now were not anymore. He didn’t even get to become a dad, he was young, his whole life was ahead of him and it was ripped away from him with a blink of an eye. What am I going to do without him? He was always my rock. The tears are running, I want this pain to stop, everything inside me feels like there being ripped apart. I want them ripped out. I try to whisper the words, ‘I’m so sorry, Carl.’ But they won’t come out. Another arm is put around me to help me up, it’s not Jared, Adam or even Andi and Alex. It’s the last person I never thought it’d be, it’s my mother.

  “It’s ok, darling, everything will be ok.” She says in the softest voice and I do the one thing I thought I’d never do and wrap my arms around her and hold tight. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I’m here now, I won’t let go.” She whispers, who knew no matter how much of a bitch she is and how much I cannot stand her, I still need her. Life’s too short for grudges, I lost Carl to someone’s grudge, this has to end.

  *****

  A few days have passed by and I’ve not yet said a single word. My brother brought me to his to stay, as he doesn’t want to leave me alone, he’s afraid I might run. Which is exactly what I want to do, I can hear them speaking about me, outside my door.

  “Has she still not said one word?”

  “No! Not one, I’m really worried.”

  “Did you try the hot chocolate thing?”

  “Of course I did, mother. I know her a hell of a lot more than you and for her to snub it off, is a bad sign. Why do you care anyway?”

  “Regardless of what has happened in the past, which I hold my hands up for it, I know it was me, but I meant it when I said I want to make amends with you all. Especially with Danni, I made a huge mistake back then. Let me go in and try.”

  “Oh, I don’t know if that’ll be a good idea.”

  “Look, I was there for her at the funeral, she let me and I stayed with her and didn’t let go like I said, that must mean she starting to forgive me right? So let me do this. Besides, it’ll either one of two ways. One, she’ll let me in with open arms, or she’ll flip out and kick off on me. So either way, it’s a win, win situation.” I can hear him hesitate at first. I don’t care, I just want to lay here and hope time passes till the pain disappears.

  “Fine, go in” Just don’t make the situation worse. I know Danni, I practically raised her, I won’t let her get hurt anymore, especially by you. You want to show her you’re a changed woman, then this will be the start. I mean it mum, don’t make me regret this.”

  I hear the door opening and I can feel the tension of her whole emotions mixed in the air with mine. She scared, also sympathetic and sad. I glance over as she walks closer, not feeling anything at all, I’m still numb. She got her thick brown hair up in a bun, perfect as always. It is where Andi gets it from, hazel eyes, sparkling as bright as ever. She’s wearing a black, smart dress that’s fits her to perfection on her slender frame. She’s always has to dress smart and elegant. She never did comfortable clothes.

  “Hey Danni!” She softly says, as walking towards the bed and parking her butt on the edge of the bed. I stare right through her. “Look, Danni. I know I’ve never been around and I’m grateful for this second chance, I am here for you if you want to talk, scream or whatever. I know you have your siblings and you can confide in, but sometimes it helps if it’s a stranger and I know I’m your mum but I have been a stranger all your life. So treat me like it, if you need it.” She places her delicate, pale hand on mine and I look away, I just cannot be bothered with any of this, I hate pep talks. “Danni, I know how close you where to Carl, you both where inseparable.” My stomach sinks at his name. “He wouldn’t want this, Danni. He would want you to live your life, and also he’ll want you to be there for Darla, as this is crumbling her too. Carl was an amazing person, he loved you so much and we all could see it. Honour his death. Now, I know there is more to all of this than your letting on and I get it, but listen, use all this to your advantage his death will not be in vain, and you’ll make sure of it. If you need anything darling, I’ll be here no matter how long it takes. One by one is the key. I love you darling.” I look at her puzzled, what is with the cryptic messages? She smiles and presses her smooth red lips on my forehead and walks out. Is she trying to tell me to fight back? Oh, I don’t know. I hear another voice outside.

  “Can I see her?”

  “No, you can’t!”

  “Adam, come on! You can’t stop me from seeing her, I’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “Jared, yes I can, I’m her brother.”

  “Excuse me, Jared! I suggest you listen to my son, Danni is not in her right mind just now, she’s just lost someone who meant more to her then anyone. How are you going to be able to help?” I really don’t fancy him coming in here.

  “Has she still not said anything?”

  “No, she hasn’t”

  “Let me try, give me ten minutes please, you can’t isolate her, how the hell is that going to help?”

  “Fine, hurry up.”

  He walks through the door, why did they let him in here. My jaw starts to chatter, not with sadness but with anger. He comes straight to my side.

  “Babe, come on! Please stop this. Why is your brother trying to stop me from seeing you?” He grabs my hand, and I pull it away and everything that has been boiling over me snaps out.

  “Why do you think?”

  “Wow that was quick. Tell me.”

  “This is all because of you, I thought it was because of me, but it was never me, it was all you. Get away.” I jump of the bed and he goes to follow.

  “What is all me, Danni?”

  “Carl, is dead because of you, Sabrina wanted to destroy you. So she went after me to break me and go after the ones I love. All because of what you did to her, I wish I never met you; my life has been nothing but trouble since the day we’ve met, we, you, where nothing but a mistake and I hate you for all of this. Get out and never come back. Carl’s blood is on your hands and your hands only. If I could turn back time I wouldn’t go any were near you, now get out.” I see the look on his face, as if I’ve just ripped his world apart, he stops himself from getting upset and snaps back.

  “You know what, Danni! Screw you. How dare you, blame his death on me, Carl and I became close mates too and to blame someone for his death, other than the person who actually did it, is a heartless and horrible thing to say. The thing is, I do blame myself for it, the guilt runs through me and I wish I could have stopped it. I thought I could count on the person I loved to be there for me but obviously, I was wrong about you and I. We’re not meant for each other and I’m done trying to be together with you. You want me out of your life then you’ve got it, I’m heading back to the US tonight and not coming back, you wanted your wish, well I’ve just granted it, good bye.” He storms of and Adam and my mother come rushing in.

  “It worked, you’re talking. What happened? What did you do, Danni?” Adam asks,

  “Told him to go and I never want to see him again, it’s his entire fault. Carl died because of him.” I run my fingers through my tattered hair, where I’ve not brushed it and turn to look out the window to watch him drive off.

  “Danni, you and I both know how much I hate that dude, but that is heartless and to hell was it his fault.” Before I can reply, a soft voice comes from the frame door.

  “He’s right, Danni!” There stands Darla, her eyes are puffy, red and you can see that she has not slept and all she’s done is cried. She’s wearing a old tracksuit, which she never wears and her hair is stuffed in a pony like she has not paid it much attention. I’ve not seen her since the funeral. She starts to weep again. I run to her and wrap my arms tightly around her and she sobs into my arms.

  “Adam, mum, go! Darla needs me.” They nod and leave us be. I walk her over to my bed.

  “Danni, I need you! I need
my best friend, please take this pain away.”

  “Darla, I’m so sorry, I should’ve have kept my feelings aside and been there for you, yes I lost my lifelong friend, but you lost your soul mate. I’m here for you hun, always!” She cries into my shoulders, a while longer and she eventually starts to speak.

  “Danni, why did you blame Jared?”

  “Because it is his fault, Carl died because of his crazy ex.”

  “It may have been his ex, but he did not order for him to kill Carl. I was there the same night, it was not Jared, don’t lose Jared over this, he’s your true love, soul mate, just like Carl was mine.”

  “Maybe your right, I was just so angry and hurt, I wanted to blame someone. It doesn’t matter anymore; he is leaving for the US tonight. He’ll be gone for good.”

  “What? Danni, you can’t let him. He has been the one for you, from day one, he gave you everything, his heart and his soul, he saved you from yourself. He is and will always be the love of your life. Danni, go after him. I would give anything to have Carl back; he will always be my soul mate. I have lost mine, don’t lose yours. Sabrina will win for sure, don’t let Carl’s death be your excuse. You need to show that bitch that she won’t get away with this. You need to go after him.”

  “No, you’ve just got here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Danni, his jet is in his runway, in his back garden, he can leave anytime. Look, I need to go and see Mrs Freed, she got a few items she wants me to have, I just wanted to pop in to see my only friend. I know you feel the same as me and we can get through this together, I just wanted to show you that I don’t blame you. I’ll come back tomorrow, go and get your man.” She gets up and heads for the door and looks back before she leaves, she don’t say anything, she just lets of a half smile and a nod and walks out.